我有一个前任是数学专业的，他有一个微妙的观点，女生在纯粹的抽象领域就是不如男生。一般我们会说女生不适合学理科之类的，但他说，理科也有“层次”。比如生物领域，甚至实验物理，就有很优秀的女性，但在他眼里这些都是“鄙视链”比较下游的理科。而在纯数和理论物理领域，几乎没有女性做得很好。
而我当时恰恰是一个喜欢理论物理但成绩没那么好的本科女生。我陷入过很长时间的自我怀疑，包括对我身为一个女生是否已经注定了一些事情的困惑，甚至还有我对于理论物理这份喜欢本身的怀疑。那个微妙的观点和我个人科研taste的选择间产生了奇妙的张力，我开始犹豫自己是真的喜欢理论方向，还是只是享受证明自己、所在群体的过程。
——芊芊的芸
I had an ex who was a math major and he had a subtle opinion that girls are just not as good as boys in purely abstract fields. Usually we say that girls are not suitable for science subjects or things like that, but he said that there are "levels" of science. For example, in biology and even experimental physics, there are very good women. However, in his eyes these are the science subjects lower down in the "chain of contempt". In pure mathematics and theoretical physics, there were hardly any women who did well.
I was a female undergraduate who liked theoretical physics but didn't do that well at that time. (Because of the words from my ex), I suffered from a long period of self-doubt, including confusion about whether I was destined for something as a girl, and even doubts about my love of theoretical physics itself. There was a magical tension between that subtle opinion and my personal choice of research taste, and I started to hesitate whether I really liked the theoretical direction, or just enjoyed the process of proving myself and the group I was in.
——Qian Qian De Yun
