我高三的时候被理科班的一个男生追，从一开始，我就直接拒绝了那个男生。在那段时间里，那个男生下课后一直来我们班教室后面想要找我聊天，我不予理会。后来他最后一次和我表白的时候，我一遍又一遍告诉他“我真的不喜欢你也不会喜欢你，你这样我很恶心，你不要来骚扰我了，我会告诉老师的”。后来那个男生在我生日那天带着一群男生在楼梯口堵我，强迫我收他的礼物，我把鞋盒丢在他头上就跑了，这辈子第一次跑那么快。老师知道了，把我和他叫到办公室教育了一番，并着重和我说“女孩子要自重”。后来一次家人聚会上，我和大家讲这件事情，女性长辈都能理解我的恐惧，男性长辈都在责怪我为什么不拒绝的狠一点，一定是因为我没有拒绝或拒绝的不强硬才这样的。原来我的坚定拒绝在一些男性眼里只是欲擒故纵罢了。
我的爷爷亲口和我说过:“你是女孩长大后就要生孩子，这是老祖宗的规矩。”
我说:“要是我不想生孩子呢？”
我爷爷说:“那你就没有什么人生价值了。”
那个时候我6岁。
——宋柏霖
I was wooed by a boy in the science class in my senior year of high school, and from the very beginning, I rejected the boy directly. During that time, the boy kept coming to the back of our classroom after class to talk to me, but I ignored him. The last time he confessed his love for me, I said to him repeatedly, "I really don't like you and I won't like you, you're disgusting to me, don't bother me, I'll tell the teacher". The boy later brought a group of boys to block me at the stairway on my birthday and forced me to accept his gift, I threw the shoebox at his head and ran away, that was the first time in my life to run that fast. When the teacher found out, he called me and him to the office to educate us, and told me emphatically that "girls should behave themselves". Later, at a family gathering, I told everyone about the incident. While all the female elders understood my fears, the male elders blamed me for not refusing firmer, which must have been because I didn't refuse or didn't refuse firm enough. It turned out that my firm refusal was just play hard to get in the eyes of some men.
My grandfather once said to me, "You have to have children when you grow up as a girl, it's rules inherited from the ancestors.”
I said, "What if I don't want to have children?"
My grandfather said, “Then you don't have any value in life."
I was 6 years old at that time.
——Song Bolin
