在我的家庭中有很多隐形的性别歧视。比如我不爱做饭和做家务，他们会说“你是女孩子，不会做饭以后没人要的”。当我计划提升自己的学历和职位的时候，他们又说“女孩子工作差不多就行了，没有必要那么拼”。更直观一点的话是我17岁的时候，我妈高龄产妇也要生二胎。我从学校回来，我的房间就已经被腾出来给我弟住了，后来我住了五年书房，像个客人。我爸小时候对我不太好，会家暴我，但从来不打骂我弟，基本上他要什么给什么。他们后来说，给我钱读研究生了，就不给我钱买房了，而且“我只要嫁个有房子的老公就好了”，我弟弟不一样，他还小。说到读研这个事，我奶奶有天突然找我说让我别读了，说我弟弟出生，开销变大了，让我直接工作。种种小事，也不算小事。
我会想，如果我没有接受高等教育，我可能会觉得这些言语并不能叫歧视，甚至理所当然，因为大多数普通女孩从小开始接受到教育就是“你是一个女孩，你应该文静一点/要爱干净/不能叉开腿坐/去学舞蹈吧芭蕾怎么样”，而不是“你是一个女孩，你应该勇敢/坚强/努力/吃多一点变强壮保护其他小朋友”。我妈现在经常拿我小时候说事，说我小时候明明懂事听话嘴巴又甜，现在二十多岁开始变得“不像女生”。明明我自己关乎女性身份的审判从出生就开始了。
——kk
There is a lot of invisible sexism in my family. For example, if I don't like to cook and do housework, they will say "you are a girl, no one will want you if you can't cook". When I planned to upgrade my education and position, they would say, "A girl can work just about the same, there is no need to work so hard". The more intuitive word is that when I was 17 years old, my mother was in advanced maternal age and wanted to have a second child. When I came back from school, my room was vacated for my brother, and I lived in the study for five years, like a guest. My dad wasn't very nice to me as a child, would domestic abuse me, but never scolded my brother, and basically gave him whatever he wanted. They later said that they gave me money to study in graduate school, so they would not give me money to buy a house, and "I just need to marry a husband with a house", my brother is different, he is still young. When it comes to graduate school, my grandmother suddenly approached me one day and told me not to read it, saying that my brother was born, the expenses have become large, so I can work directly. All kinds of little things, and it's not a little thing.
I think if I hadn't had higher education, I probably would have felt that these words were not discriminatory, or even justified, because most ordinary girls are taught from a young age that "you're a girl, you should be quiet/be clean/not sit with your legs crossed/how about ballet", not "You are a girl, you should be brave / strong / hard / eat more to become strong to protect other children". My mother now often talks about me as a child, saying that when I was young I was obedient and sweet, but now in my twenties I am becoming "not like a girl". The trial of my own identity as a woman began at birth.
——kk
